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Love Changes

14 Aug

My wife and I attended a wedding a today of friends of ours.  It is the second marriage of the bride, a mother of two, whose first husband died tragically. For the husband, it is his first marriage.  They are not kids and therefore go into marriage with a history which hopefully, they have learned from. Either way, a wedding represents a beginning filled with great hope and anticipation. It’s as if all is possible.

My wife and I were one of five couples at our table. We all know each other well and are on a friendly basis. One more thing that connects us is we all have young children. Anyway, as the speeches were being made and the talk came of love and family, our table was silent.  I think the silence was not just out of respect and decency, but instead, it was out of knowing. Maybe this is true of older couples as well, but I think you get to a point where you delude yourself again. Anyway, we all know that marriage is challenging with some days rougher than others. Life happens and with it comes joys, accomplishments, disappointments, frustrations, etc.  The years and experiences leave us changed and therefore, the love also has to develop, grow, and adapt. That love you feel on your wedding day and around that special moment, which is so awesome, is fleeting.  The love must change because the person you are changes as well.

My wife has said multiple times she does not believe in the old axiom don’t go to bed angry.  In my book, this does not make her cruel or unfeeling. Nope, it makes her smart. We are exhausted at the end of the day from kids, work, hectic, run-run – life. By the time we get to bed, it’s possible that something has occurred to leave us ticked off at each other.  Some of these reasons are valid and need attention, while others are simpler and are more easily handled. Either way, it would be nice to talk things out and make nice (yeah baby) before bed, but there are times when you just need the sleep.  However, I don’t need to have every day end happy to know that what we have works. Knowing that another day is coming which hopefully will find us refreshed or at least more energetic is often enough comfort and necessary. Therefore, I choose another axiom: everything can wait.

Oh, one more piece of advice. Know when to keep your mouth shut, agree, and, when necessary, lie.

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1 Comment

Posted by on August 14, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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One response to “Love Changes

  1. Jeff S

    August 16, 2011 at 3:24 am

    Oh, one more piece of advice. Know when to keep your mouth shut, agree, and, when necessary, lie.

    I hope this wasnt geared to me LOL. Good writing Larry

     

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