I feel stressed. While the clichés keep running around my head – there is only so much I can do, just relax, everything will be fine – it is still a very busy time. Grades are due this week which always makes for a busy time of furious marking. On top of that is the holidays and even though they are great, they mean less time to focus on work. Unfortunately, my students and school don’t recognize the holidays (apart from Rosh Hashanah, when both students and teachers alike appreciate and thank me, representative of the Jewish people, for the days off) and the work must get done.
I was weighted down with packages this morning as I walked in from food shopping. I was already a half hour late based on the plan I had made in mind. Then, things started to fall – there was the eggs, tomato sauce, and more. I was pissed – running around like a lunatic trying to do everything and keep everyone happy, and then this happens. Waste of money and time. I wanted to scream but my younger son was not far off and I didn’t want to scare him. I wanted to bang something but I had a sore hand from fixing my fence the other day. So, I kicked. I would like to say it made me feel better, but it didn’t. Instead, I now have a little hole in the door. Great – another thing to worry about.
Teachable moment is the parlance these days. While driving to the train station to pick up my mother, I spoke to my older son who sat calmly in the back seat. “Did you see the hole in the kitchen door? I kicked it when I lost my temper.” After I was sure he knew what that meant, I explained why I did it. He seemed to be very interested, as losing his temper and acting irrationally is something he does periodically (It’s even on his chart. Where does he get that from?). “Yes,” I explained, “I do lose my temper sometimes,” and “No, it did not make me feel any better.” In fact, explaining the situation to him made me feel even more foolish. What was I thinking?
Stress, man. Sometimes, we don’t always think things through. Teachable moment for him and learnable moment for me. Breathe in, breathe out. Everything is going to be fine.