Where’s the……..?!

20 Jul

Thanks to an invitation from memyselfandkids to do a guest post on his blog, I’m collaborating with him on an issue for the ages: Why men (and boys) can’t find anything.

It’s a ‘he said, she said’ kind of thing. Read on for the mom perspective then check out the dad perspective over at


“Honey! Where’s the [insert any food item here]?”

“In the fridge.”

“I’m looking in the fridge. I don’t see it.”

“It’s on the bottom shelf.”

“No it’s not.”

“Yes it is. It might have gotten pushed to the back. Move stuff around. You’ll see it.”

[Shuffling and banging noises come from the direction of the fridge.]

“Nope. Not in there.”

[Heavy sigh escapes lips.]

“If I open that fridge and find [insert any food item here], I won’t be too impressed.”

[Heavy footsteps toward the fridge.]

“Here it is, right in front of the leftovers.”

“Oh, thanks. I didn’t see it.”

“No kidding.”

I’ll give you one guess who was rummaging in the fridge unable to find what they were looking for and who opened the door and put their hand on said item.

You’re right. It was my husband doing the looking and me doing the finding.

And this is pretty much how it goes for anything, not just food items.

Admittedly, when it comes to something in the fridge, it makes sense that I can put my hand on anything my family asks for because I do 98% of the grocery shopping, and most of the cupboard and fridge restocking when I get home from the store. My brain is like one of those coming-soon-new-fangled fridges with an LCD display of the contents of the fridge, constantly being updated as items are removed or added.

But the same goes for toys, clothes, documents, etc. We have IKEA toy “boxes” for the kids.

Photo credit: IKEA

And no matter what the kids are playing with, they always come to me to help them find the toy they’re looking for.

As if I know which bucket they put said toy in when they cleaned up the day before (because my kids always put away their own toys. wink)

And why is it that I can find things in my house, but my family cannot? It happens so often that I set out to find an answer.

Here’s what Google told me:

“Men are hunters, so if they can’t find their prey, they instinctively freeze motionless and wait for it to wander into their field of vision. Women are gatherers, so they move things around and look behind things until they find what they’re looking for.”

Take my children for example. My male child automatically asks me to find his toys for him. He doesn’t even start to go through his toy bins. He just stands in front of them, motionless I might add, and says, “Mommy, you find my car carrier? You find my dump twuck?”

My daughter, on the other hand, pulls out every one of her toy bins and systematically launches items out of the bins and onto the floor in an effort to locate whatever it is she is looking for. Nine times out of 10 she finds it and I never hear a peep out of her. Granted there’s a mountain of toys the size of Everest in front of the bins, but hey, at least she found her toy.

And it’s not just finding things that I have the upper hand in. Remembering things related to the household also falls to me. Doctor’s appointments, stuff we need at the store, play dates, school/daycare/camp schedules, extracurricular activities and so on are all part of my job.

It’s not that my husband can’t do it. It just seems that ever since my daughter was born, I have naturally been in charge of taking care of our family. It works for us. Sometimes I get frustrated. A lot of times I’m exhausted. But ultimately, I don’t think I’d have it any other way.


Well, that’s the female perspective. I’m sure you guys have found lots of stuff in your day, but it never seems to be when I’m around. (w­ink)

Check out the male perspective of this little issue over on where talented guest blogger and dad extraordinaire memyselfandkids is blogging today.


Posted by on July 20, 2012 in Uncategorized


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

18 responses to “Where’s the……..?!

  1. Marta

    July 20, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    Its 100% the way it is in my family. I feel like I’ve had that fridge conversation one million times. Sometimes I refer to myself as the CHO (Chief Household Officer) because I honestly don’t know how the house would run without me. My husband is SUPER helpful, but he just cannot seem to keep track of any of the details of what needs to be done!

    • memyselfandkids

      July 20, 2012 at 3:14 pm

      Cut us guys some slack. Focus on the super husband thing and stop hiding stuff!

      • Nancy

        July 20, 2012 at 3:48 pm

        LOL! We’re not hiding stuff! You guys just need to open your eyes a little wider! 😉

        • memyselfandkids

          July 20, 2012 at 4:30 pm

          Maybe or maybe you expect mind readers.

          • Nancy

            July 20, 2012 at 4:34 pm

            Women do have high expectations 😉

  2. linneann

    July 20, 2012 at 6:03 pm

    It’s a universal truth. 🙂

  3. elskenewman

    July 20, 2012 at 6:53 pm

    Great idea for a guest post, bith sides very funny and very true!

  4. Raani York

    July 21, 2012 at 12:05 am

    How come this sounds sooooooo familiar? *grin*

    • memyselfandkids

      July 22, 2012 at 2:44 am

      It’s a universal problem. I wonder what Einstein’s thoughts on this were.

  5. butmostlymommy

    July 21, 2012 at 12:41 am

    Actually, my husband is generally really good at funding things (except in the fridge!) but our son and daughter are exactly as described. Very amusing to see that this is a common malady–and I love the Google explanation!

    • memyselfandkids

      July 22, 2012 at 2:43 am

      Wow, your husband is one of a kind – hopefully in many other ways as well. There must be something about that fridge – maybe, the issue comes up when you add in hunger or thirst.
      Glad you enjoyed the article. Thanks for commenting.

  6. lisaanofzinger

    July 21, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    This is so true. I’m a woman, though, and I have trouble finding things in the fridge. Thanks for making me smile.

  7. Patricia Anne Pierce-garcia Schaack

    July 22, 2012 at 9:42 am

    Enjoyed this post tremendously. You don’t know how many times my hubby opens the refrigerator looking for something, and cannot find it. He proceeds by saying, Can you please tell me where the butter is and I say in the refrigerator. He then says, it is not in the refrigerator. I then get up and go to where he is standing, looking into our refrigerator, and I take the butter out, right before his eyes. 🙂 I had to laugh because now I know I am not the only one who has a husband that suffers from this disease.

    • memyselfandkids

      July 22, 2012 at 5:27 pm

      Yes, your husband and I are similarly affected. I still blame you and my wife. I’m just not sure why.


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