Together We Ride

31 Aug

We all want those big moments. The “aha” moment, the moment when we see the light, and the moment where everything makes sense. To quote Bruce Springsteen, “some people spend their whole life waiting for moment that just don’t come. Don’t waste your time waiting.”

Recently I wrote a post entitled “The Fearful Rider.”  The post focused on the challenges I have been facing as I try to teach my son, BR, how to ride a bike. It has not gone particularly well. He is struggling, and I am struggling with teaching him. I have not ridden a bike for years – just a couple of times since I was hit by a car as an 11-year-old boy.

BR had been bicycling around the block showing halting progress. He was mildly interested at best.  After a week of practice, he spent a week at his grandmother’s house. Upon his return home, he had no interest in practicing again, and I had no interest in fighting him.  Things were at a standstill.

Then, I came up with an idea.  And BR bought into it. I suggested we ride a tandem bike together when we were on vacation. I figured that when this ride went well, BR would feel comfortable and confident to ride on his own. It was my intention to get him to practice as part of this upcoming ride. That, unfortunately, did not happen.

When we got the Jersey shore, BR asked me about when we are going to go on a bike. His fear seemed to have completely evaporated and was replaced by excitement. I was thrilled. I had grand visions of BR and me gliding along the boardwalk.  We would be basking in the ocean breezes. We would engage in intermittent chatting about how great it was to be together on a bike.

On Wednesday morning, after we woke up, we had breakfast (we skipped the PED’s – save ‘em for the Tour De France). It was a beautiful morning –humidity free and cloudless. We got to the bike rental place at just after 8:30, paid for and received a bike, and strapped on our helmets.  By this point, I was nervous. Yes, I was nervous about BR. However, I was even more nervous about myself. After all, I had not been on a bike for years. Now, not only was I getting on a bike for the first time, but I was putting my own son’s safety at risk. Maybe I could not ride a bike anymore. Was the saying you never forget how to ride a bike true?

Well, BR and I were given the green light to ride away. It was not steady going. We decided to walk the bike up the slope to the boardwalk. We got to the side of the boardwalk and got back on the bike again. We wobbled. Each BR shake or jerk shook the bike. We almost fell. But we didn’t. We stayed upright and bumped along.  We struggled on the turns.

As BR and I rode, I realized that I felt comfortable. I enjoyed riding. I did not forget. What about BR? “We should do this again, this is easy,…”    Later on after two stops, BR was ready to hand the bike in early. “My legs hurt, I’m tired, sorry for jerking the bike.”

So, BR and I rode a bike together. It wasn’t perfect. The ride didn’t change everything and make BR  eager to ride a bike himself. However, he enjoyed it, and I enjoyed it. We both conquered some of our fears. That is a moment worth savoring.


Posted by on August 31, 2012 in Uncategorized


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20 responses to “Together We Ride

  1. elskenewman

    August 31, 2012 at 5:24 am

    That’s a good start, hopefully he’ll start to really enjoy it soon. Well done for conquering your fears!

  2. closefamilies

    August 31, 2012 at 7:47 am

    I’ve never been on a tandem bike, but it sounds much more difficult than riding solo. Has he ridden at home since then?

    • memyselfandkids

      August 31, 2012 at 9:46 pm

      We have just returned. I am curious if he will be interested. I hope so but am not counting on it.

  3. Nancy

    August 31, 2012 at 10:53 am

    YAY! So glad to hear. So your tandem bide ride was kind of like life: It wasn’t perfect, it didn’t change everything, however, you both enjoyed it and you both conquered some of our fears. Definitely a moment worth savoring.

  4. me2self

    August 31, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    What a terrific story – but a better moment in life to always treasure! Congratulations on your accomplishment! Check Craig’s list for a bike of your own! 🙂

    • memyselfandkids

      August 31, 2012 at 9:41 pm

      Thanks. I don’t think I want a bike at this point. Who knows though about the future?
      Thanks for your comments.

  5. ateachablemom

    August 31, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    I want to write what Nancy wrote in her comment above – this story is a perfect slice of life. You captured a lovely moment! Congratulations – definitely a victory!

    • memyselfandkids

      August 31, 2012 at 9:42 pm

      Thanks. I’ll take the victories whenever I can get them.

  6. Anonymous

    August 31, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    a lot of the times parents are to eager to take the kid off training wheels. i left the traning wheels on my sons bike until icould see he was riding balanced and he wasnt rely on them so much. when i did take them off at age 4 he was ready, as soon as i let go he hasnt stopped. it took all but one try to teach him. he already had the balance. thats what training wheels are meant for. we bike almost every day now.cheers and good luck

    • memyselfandkids

      August 31, 2012 at 9:43 pm

      Thanks. My son is 8 and he still is not ready – mentally as much as anything else.
      I appreciate your comments.

  7. linneann

    August 31, 2012 at 3:53 pm

    It is indeed a moment worth savoring. Good job, dad!

  8. insanityofmotherhood

    August 31, 2012 at 5:45 pm

    Very clever idea. I have often wondered how the tandum bikes worked. They look so fun. May have to give one a try with the little guy, so the whole family can bike together. He is too big for the bike seat now.

    • memyselfandkids

      August 31, 2012 at 9:44 pm

      They are not easy as the child’s movements affect the balance but it is nothing crazy.

  9. Holly

    September 1, 2012 at 1:33 am

    Sounds like a fabulous experience for both you. I imagine, somewhere down the road, that’s a story he’ll share with people. “My dad helped learn how to ride on a bicycle built for two.”
    He’s blessed to have such a loving and involved father.

    • memyselfandkids

      September 2, 2012 at 7:22 pm

      It’s cool to think that this might be one of those moments that he shares. I hope he will look back upon it fondly.
      I really appreciate your kind words. Thank you.

  10. patgarcia

    September 9, 2012 at 6:41 pm

    I like this post. Thank you for sharing the results of your ride together. BR did a great job! His love towards bike are like my love for swimming. I will never be a swimmer, but I like to float in the water with my paddle. 🙂 That is enough for me.
    I am happy that the both of you conquered some of your fears.

    • memyselfandkids

      September 9, 2012 at 11:44 pm

      Thanks. I defintely had you in mind when I decided to do a follow up.


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