Not Narcissistic

12 Nov

I was going to write about my SJ turning 6 this past weekend.

I was going to mention how proud I am that he learned to read  on his own.

I was going to convey how he cracks me up when I am washing him with his instructions as though he is getting a massage, “A little to the left. Ahh.”

I was going to tell you about how he is still obsessed with Thomas.

I was going to relate to you that he is a bit of a klutz.

I was going to note to you that he is a great hugger and loves to fall into your arms.

I was going to speak of his discovery of the deliciousness of chocolate.

I was going to reveal to you that he is always loud whether he means to be or not.

But then yesterday, I was roaming around WordPress. I was looking to read some parenting blogs as I am wont to do on an increasingly regular basis.  I was on for just a few minutes when I lost track of how many bloggers were writing about their children’s birthdays. Was another one needed? Last night my writing group friend mentioned that bloggers, and much of our society, are narcissistic. Of course, he said, “Present company excluded.”

I had been thinking the same thing. After all, does anyone outside of family and friends really care about SJ and the habits noted above? Does this information have one iota of impact upon anyone in the blogosphere?  After all, how many people had birthdays on Saturday, November 10th? Does 100 million sound reasonable? Hell, even in my family we had another birthday. Had my father been alive, he would have turned 80.  So, do I really need to share this information?

After all, I’m the kind of friend that has 20-minute conversations where I spend the first 18 minutes asking about the other person. Unless, I really have something to say, I’m quite content with that breakdown. Isn’t that the antithesis of narcissistic? In addition, I have neither time nor interest in reality shows (Okay, I often watch pieces of Project Runway with my wife. Yes, I did the same when she used to watch America’s Next Top Model. That was just because I was trying to be a good husband and take an interest in her interests. Really. Promise).

No, I am not narcissistic (well, I may have some of those traits but this is not one of them). I can’t accept that label. Am I hiding behind a blog due to my shyness? Maybe I do, a little. I look at my blog and the blogosphere as a way to form community. I look it as a way of shrinking the world and bonding over common concerns. I look at it as a way to learn/grow my writing skills while doing the same for others.

Maybe there is a bit of narcissism and hiding involved in blogging. I don’t care. So, what was I saying about SJ?

Posted by on November 12, 2012 in Uncategorized


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43 responses to “Not Narcissistic

  1. linneann

    November 12, 2012 at 8:06 pm

    I wrote blogs for my kids’ birthdays. I don’t feel like that was narcissistic but I also wrote one for mine, that may have been narcissistic, but I don’t really care either. Anyway, you managed to write about it and make an entertaining and thoughtful post. Good job.

    • memyselfandkids

      November 13, 2012 at 3:00 am

      Thanks for the compliment.
      Good for you for writing what you want.

  2. sweetpea2200

    November 12, 2012 at 8:21 pm

    I love to read other people experiences. I believe it enables a person to grow through other’s experiences. As for narcissism, I do not think so, you are expressing your feeling, beliefs, and opinions and you talk about what you are facing in your life to me that is sharing you experiences.

    I agree with Linneann, you always make it worth the read, thank you

    • memyselfandkids

      November 13, 2012 at 3:01 am

      Fristly, thanks for the positive feedback.
      Secondly, I appreicat the way you view things.

  3. Nancy

    November 12, 2012 at 8:41 pm

    I really like this post. You make a good point about bloggers. But I think people who read your blog do care about SJ (and the rest of your family) and the “habits noted above”. It’s one of the reasons we read your blog, because we want to feel like we’re not alone in this parenting and writing thing. We want to know that someone else is out there talking about, complaining about, and praising their kids.

    Decades ago, we would have leaned over our backyard fence and chatted about all the things we now write about on our blogs. You would likely have told us, your neighbours, that it was SJ’s birthday and you would have shared the things about SJ that made you proud. So why not share them here?

    Like your said, you look at your “blog and the blogosphere as a way to form community.” We are your readers, your community. Keep on sharing with us.

    • memyselfandkids

      November 13, 2012 at 3:03 am

      Thanks for the long and thoughful reply. I appreciate what you had to say.
      I really like the way you depict/view things. The sense of community and viritual fence that we talk over is really well stated.

  4. closefamilies

    November 12, 2012 at 8:51 pm

    This post wouldn’t have had the “bang” that it does, had you not included all those lovely things about SJ. Narcissistic or not, it makes blogging relatable, and more enjoyable. 🙂

  5. Jessie Clemence

    November 12, 2012 at 9:18 pm

    Well, blogging can be completely narcissistic. BUT, it can also be a way to share life with one another. We can’t share life if we don’t actually tell our part of the story. When other people speak about their genuine feelings and experiences, I think we all benefit.

    And I have all these opinions because I’ve wrestled with this exact thing before. It can feel very self-centered.

    • memyselfandkids

      November 13, 2012 at 3:06 am

      The first paragraph you have written is articulate and a wonderful defense of blogging. I suppose it is the way you overcame the wrestling match you are have had with your feelings.

  6. semiblind

    November 12, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    Great blog , although it just made me self-conscious…

    • memyselfandkids

      November 14, 2012 at 1:03 am

      You’re welcome. Aren’t you happy your back?

  7. Raani York

    November 12, 2012 at 9:25 pm

    There are so many things to say about blogs – and about your blog as well! – I enjoyed reading about 6 year old SJ – I enjoy reading about your family. Yes, there might be many of them – but hey – there are as many reasons to blog for each person as there are families to blog about. Of course it’s natural you blog about your family!! (which seems to be a very nice one!)
    You’re blogging nicely and I always enjoy reading your posts. I did see other family posts and didn’t enjoy them even half as much as I do yours!
    Being good in blogging, having a nice family and having followers enjoying your blog posts, in my opinion doesn’t have much to do with being narcissitic!
    You’re doing great!!

    • memyselfandkids

      November 14, 2012 at 1:06 am

      Well, I will take that. Thanks so much.
      I agree that people do blog for many different reasons. I don’t have a particular/specific reason as I alluded to in the piece. However, I am enjoying it for many reasons.

  8. ateachablemom

    November 13, 2012 at 1:32 am

    I also enjoy your posts about your children and your marriage and love where you went with this post. I don’t care one bit if writing about my family/life/feelings makes me narcissistic. I’ve been called worse!

    • memyselfandkids

      November 13, 2012 at 3:08 am

      I am afraid to know what it is you have been called that is worse.
      Thanks for the compliment.

  9. motherhoodisanart

    November 13, 2012 at 2:20 am

    Great post!! It made me giggle! I personally love when people gloat and act proud of their children. It shows that they care and are great parents. And really, if we don’t brag and gush about our children…who will? Everyone needs a cheerleader!

    • memyselfandkids

      November 13, 2012 at 3:10 am

      I never thought of myself as the cheerleader, but I certainly am proud of SJ and enjoy gushing about him on occassion.

  10. Karron

    November 13, 2012 at 2:24 am

    It isn’t Narcissistic to talk about your son’s birthday. It is love. Most bloggers talk about things that have meaning for them. Things like, family, kids, country, etc. are always a delight to read because all those things make us human. Keep writing about your boys. BTW, you are much brave than I, as I can never manage to watch either of those shows you mention. Makes me crazy because it is so banal.

    • memyselfandkids

      November 13, 2012 at 3:11 am

      I don’t know if i would call it brave, but I will take the compliment.

  11. now at home mom

    November 13, 2012 at 5:42 pm

    OK, you are not a Narcissist, I love your blog and reading everything about it! Please feel free to write about your sons, as a mom, I love to hear and read other mothers stories and how they deal with stuff! 🙂 (don’t forget : We are reading your blog because we like it) 🙂

    • memyselfandkids

      November 14, 2012 at 1:08 am

      So very nice of you to say.
      I also enjoy hearing other parents stories/experiences.
      By the way, you are not reading a mom blog – dad here.

      • now at home mom

        November 14, 2012 at 2:58 am

        you are right! 🙂 sorry! 🙂 as a mom, love to hear and read other parents stories and how they deal with stuff!

  12. Joyce

    November 13, 2012 at 6:25 pm

    I think that your blog is relevant to those of us who have taken an interest in following it 🙂 Feel free to gush. It’s incredibly sweet.

    • memyselfandkids

      November 14, 2012 at 1:09 am

      Cool. I appreciate that. Ultimately, I don’t think I am such a gusher, but I get your point.

  13. rolloverandplaydad

    November 13, 2012 at 7:25 pm

    By honestly sharing the specific details of your own experiences, you achieve the most universal appeal. We see ourselves in one another.

  14. chrissyg22

    November 13, 2012 at 7:51 pm

    I have to say firstly, I really look forward to your blogs… I love your writing style and yes I have to agree as mentioned above, we are a community! We share two parenting styles that are quit similar yet different not sure if its because I have an all girl clan or maybe b/c we just share similar concerns but its somehow relates. Keep thinking and writing b/c not only does it work, it also matters. 🙂

    • memyselfandkids

      November 14, 2012 at 1:10 am

      I reallyappreciate your comment. I think I’ve read it three times already.
      It matters – that is awsome!

  15. journey2dfuture

    November 14, 2012 at 6:32 pm

    Happy Birthday SJ 🙂
    Who even cares about the blogosphere because I don’t I blog for my own reasons, A timeline of life, events and photos.
    Also for family and friends overseas to read.
    If the ‘strangers’ I mean supporters stop by.. well great 🙂 I love to hear the views from new people. 🙂
    You just carry on doing what your doing !

    • memyselfandkids

      November 14, 2012 at 10:27 pm

      Thanks on his behalf.
      I will follow your marching orders.

  16. sonjaessen

    November 14, 2012 at 11:39 pm

    This is so funny. My daughter’s birthday was on Sunday and I was intending to blog about it… but I didn’t for some reason. I really like your writing style. Me thinks I’ll follow you!

    • memyselfandkids

      November 14, 2012 at 11:54 pm

      Me thanks you for joining me on the journey.
      Happy birthday to your daughter. How old is she?

      • sonjaessen

        November 15, 2012 at 12:26 am

        She’s 8 and in 2nd grade. She’s a total handful, but I love her for that. Keeps my life interesting!

        • memyselfandkids

          November 15, 2012 at 12:29 am

          Souns alot like my older boy in third grade.

  17. by Nanette

    November 19, 2012 at 12:11 am

    Your a great writer. I enjoy your way of thinking.

    • memyselfandkids

      November 19, 2012 at 4:42 am

      Thanks for the compliment. It’s nice to find people who are on the same page.

  18. Eleenie

    December 9, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    If we can’t be proud of our families then who can we be proud of?! I have no idea who your kids are or what you look like and that is of no significance at all, it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy reading about your family life. I always take something positive from your blog whether it be the things I wish I had said to my son, or just a smile at your thoughts and life in general. I like your blog, keep talking about yourself and your family, please don’t change it 🙂

    • memyselfandkids

      December 9, 2012 at 8:41 pm

      I very much appreciate your comments here. Thank you very much.

  19. brucethomasw

    April 14, 2013 at 5:21 pm

    Hi, ‘me myself and the kids.’

    I concur in liking the community aspect of blogging . . . sort of like a global village, to use the phrase of Marshall Mchluhan. He really envisioned the future, in regards to the force of electronic media.

    Observing your replies to the people who commented on this post, I have two observations. 1)You are a good listener and a humble person. 2) I wonder if some people missed the deeper message in what you were saying. Like, heh – “lets broaden our horizons here, maybe just a bit, beyond just our nucleur families.”

    I understand your readers strong responses – and, to be very honest I don’t have children of my own, although I do have 2 beautiful grandaughters! People feel loyalty, joy, and pride in our loved ones, and you are being very authentic to them and to your blog in this regard.

    And you are loyal to yourself!

    Thank you for this reflective post. Bruce


      April 15, 2013 at 1:21 am

      Firstly, thanks for your comments.
      I appreciate the generous compliments. I don’t know what to say.
      Loyal to myself – interesting thought.


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