Making My Way Home

06 Dec

On a brisk grey Tuesday afternoon. A packed New Jersey Transit bus number 164 made its way to the Jersey side of the Lincoln Tunnel. I glanced up and took note of the people standing – sorry for them but happy that to not be among their ranks. It had been a typical day of work for me – frustrations, battles, and maybe some small victories and learning. I was anxious to get home.
As I settled down, I turned back to the day’s distractions. I had a book and my phone. I typed in WordPress and began blogging away – reading, commenting, and responding.
Moments later the bus stopped– traffic back up. Yuck. I glanced at my watch. 4:05. Okay, I reasoned, decent time so far. Let this clear up quickly, and I can still make it home on time. Back to blogging.
Finally, the bus picked up speed, and we got off the New Jersey Turnpike and on to Route 80. Time check – 4:10. Okay, we are definitely late. Damn – I’ll have to make lunch after we pick up BR at karate. As long as we can get BR’s homework started by 6:15, otherwise heavy duty negotiations will be needed to keep him on track.
Full stop. Uh-oh. I looked out the window. This was not good. I called my wife who was still in the city.
“Call E (babysitter), and see if she can take them to karate.”
I called.
“Big favor to ask of you. Can you take the boys to karate? Traffic is backed up, and I am not sure if I am going to make it.”
“No problem.”
“Thank you, thank you. I really appreciate it.”
“Sure. Will you meet me there like last time?”
“I don’t know. I can’t say with this traffic. It doesn’t look good. Let me call you back in a little while when I have a better idea.
Five minutes later and little movement.
“Hi. It’s L. Yeah, this really doesn’t look good. Would you mind taking the boys and bringing them back from karate? I have no idea when I will be home.”
“Sure. No problem.”
“I really appreciate your flexibility.”
Various home schedules depending on arrival time ran through my head. I picture it a rapidly moving rolodex.

It was 5:18 when I finally walked in the door. The kids would not be home for another twenty minutes. Alone time. In my home. Did anyone else hear the angels sing halleluljah? No, I didn’t fall on my bed, blast the music, or run around naked. I did consider all those options but the rolodex turned to productivity. I got dinner started, made my lunch for the next day, set out my clothes for work, and ran the boys’ bath. Deep sigh – enjoy moment of quiet.
Then the storm hit.
“Where were you? “Why were you late? Why didn’t you come to karate? What’s for dinner? Did you leave the computer on?”
I barked back, “Dinner is being made, put your jackets in the closet, and take your shoes to your room. And go up take a bath.”
“Why do we have to take a bath now? We haven’t even eaten yet. We take a bath after dinner.”
“Change of schedule. Bath first and then dinner.”
“No buts.”
“We are already off schedule, and I don’t want a late night.”
BR, already stripped down to his underwear as he had removed his Karate uniform, said fine. He pulled off his underwear and headed to the bathroom. He presented the full monty.
“Wait till you get to the bathroom next time.”
I looked over at E (the babysitter) and tried to laugh it off, “Sorry about that. You know – kids.”
“SJ you have to go to.”
“Fine,” he whined. He walked up the steps and removed his underwear, affectively mooning E and me.
Great. I have two exhibitionists.
I turned to E, “Well, I um. He’s. Uhh. Well.” Shaking my head, I finally became coherent, “I don’t even know what to say about that.”
With a laugh and good night, E left me with my soon to be clean free spirits. It was nice to be home.


Posted by on December 6, 2012 in Uncategorized


Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

37 responses to “Making My Way Home

  1. linneann

    December 6, 2012 at 7:43 pm

    Erik did that in front of Dana’s friends at a much older age. Nothing to be embarrassed about. 🙂

    • memyselfandkids

      December 7, 2012 at 4:26 am

      Truthfully, I was a bit embarrassed, but I also found it a little funny.

      • linneann

        December 7, 2012 at 4:29 am

        That’s because it is funny!

        • memyselfandkids

          December 7, 2012 at 4:36 am

          Yes. sometimes when it is your kid, the embarrassment makes you forget the actual silliness of the situation.

  2. Joyce

    December 6, 2012 at 7:46 pm

    Ahhhh…same house, different zip code! Right down to the excessive nudity 🙂

    • memyselfandkids

      December 7, 2012 at 4:26 am

      LOL – excessive nudity. That really is a funny way to put it.

  3. elskenewman

    December 6, 2012 at 7:57 pm

    That made me laugh!

  4. motherhoodisanart

    December 6, 2012 at 8:25 pm

    Too funny!

  5. penneyfox

    December 6, 2012 at 8:28 pm

    Been there and seen that one in my house too. We don’t live in a naked house either but Jake takes his clothes off all the time. Makes me wonder, at what age do they realize they shouldn’t be naked in front of people.

    • memyselfandkids

      December 7, 2012 at 4:28 am

      I have definitely wondered that too. Judging on some of the comments I am getting my kids might not be as wacky as I thought.

  6. rebecca2000

    December 6, 2012 at 8:39 pm

    LOL funny

    • memyselfandkids

      December 7, 2012 at 4:28 am

      It made me smile too, even if I was a bit embarrassed.

  7. closefamilies

    December 6, 2012 at 8:56 pm

    Oh the pleasures of parenthood. The questions after questions I can relate to. Also the schedule! Kids get so thrown off at the smallest change, don’t they?

    • memyselfandkids

      December 7, 2012 at 4:30 am

      Yes, there can be a barrage of questions. Slow em down boys!
      My kids definitely appreciate the schedule and are not the easy go with the flow types (usually).

  8. shoes

    December 6, 2012 at 9:13 pm

    Thanks for the chuckle. 🙂

  9. letizia

    December 6, 2012 at 10:07 pm

    That’s sweet 🙂

  10. now at home mom

    December 7, 2012 at 12:15 am

    they are so funny! 🙂 mine is 18 months and doesn’t like wearing his diapers, so he keeps removing them, Thank God is not in front of people yet! 🙂

  11. mrsjuliana

    December 7, 2012 at 12:20 am

    Awesome!!! :0

  12. mrsjuliana

    December 7, 2012 at 12:21 am

    That was supposed to be a happy face. 🙂

  13. crankygiraffe

    December 7, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    Oh Boy! I guess that’s what I get to look forward to when my boys are a little older? Haha! Thanks for the laugh!

    • memyselfandkids

      December 7, 2012 at 4:45 pm

      Glad it made you laugh. Enjoy the reality soon.

  14. insanityofmotherhood

    December 8, 2012 at 5:58 pm

    Very funny!

  15. my27stars

    December 9, 2012 at 12:58 am

    🙂 Your posts always make me smile. I gave you a silly award because you’re awesome.

  16. patgarcia

    December 9, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    I have nominated your blog for the blog of the year 2012. If you want to participate, please go to and follow the instructions on the blog of the year 2012 award.
    Have a great second Advent’s Sunday.

    • memyselfandkids

      December 9, 2012 at 8:42 pm

      Thanks Pat. I appreciate the nomination.
      I don’t even know what advent is.

  17. chrissyg22

    December 9, 2012 at 8:54 pm

    kids and nudity ah yes…my girls dance around without their clothes while i scramble to get their bath ready every night. Giggles and laughs they like being silly as most kids and drive mom over the edge as she juggls baby in the other arm. These are times we will look back on and laugh and of course they will curse us for ever bringing up! good times.

    • memyselfandkids

      December 9, 2012 at 9:47 pm

      Your first few words cracked me up. They also made me nervous – I think the FBI is going to track me as a potential pervert.
      Glad you could relate. Definitely good times!

  18. patgarcia

    December 9, 2012 at 10:36 pm

    You have a great family. I love to hear how you and your wife deal with your boys. One of these days they will show you how much they appreciate the both of you as parents. Both of the boys sound like they have a great sense of humor.
    I enjoyed reading this one.

    • memyselfandkids

      December 10, 2012 at 12:40 am

      Glad you liked it. They are some wacky boys!


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